Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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