your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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