I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
