is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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