the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
