Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
