Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
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Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
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I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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