I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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