i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
