Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
