i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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