we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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