I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Duck Duck Cougar?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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