Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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