walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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