your parents love me but you hate me
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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