this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize