I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
