He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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