therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
