So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
