You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
