You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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