I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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