I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
