69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
