If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
