Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My bed smells like the plague
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
