Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
