I CAN MOONWALK!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
