a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
