help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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