woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
