Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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