Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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