that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
