did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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