i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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