I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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