You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
