the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
