Don't you send me to vm
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
