Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
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