were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
