At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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