remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
