the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
