last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
