erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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