the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
