Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
