Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
