i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
