he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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