4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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