Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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