Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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