I'm going to jail i love you
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
sarcasm needs its own font
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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