The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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